About Nicole
While the despair and darkness of grief still come with full weight in moments; the visits are generally shorter and less frequent. I have found that the question for me isn’t about how I get around or through grief, but how do I live with grief and continue to move forward, fully, in my life. How do I make my jar bigger?
As a grief doula, I understand that we all have grief that we carry. And, new losses, new grief often opens old, untended wounds in our bodies. I will hold space for your grief, whatever the context or story or type of loss. Drawing on a variety of therapeutic tools, somatic practices, and my personal lived experience, I will walk with you on your journey as you find ways to increase your own capacity to live with your losses.
There is no right way; there is only your way.
When I first met with my grief therapist, I needed to know if she deeply understood, from a lived experience, the impact of profound loss and grief. “What is your street cred?” I asked, before I agreed to work with her. You may wonder the same if you are considering working with me.
Life provided me, as it does for everyone, many losses – the death of my grandparents, divorce, job loss, educational disappointments. Grief was, and is, part of every loss – no matter the size or scale.
But in 2019, I was shattered by loss. My beautiful 22-year-old son, Jackson, died in an accident. I grieved as a mother who lost a son and one who had to witness the impact of that loss on his younger brother. Five months later, my sister, a primary support in my life, died of pancreatic cancer. These losses demanded my full attention. While life as I’d known it was over, life itself wasn’t. I eventually understood that to heal I had to sit with, and even welcome when I was able, the full depth and breadth of my grief. It meant leaning into offered support and asking for help. It meant finding the will to live into a different future than I had planned, and relating in new ways with the people in my life. It still means all of these things, but now, it also means being with others on their journeys.
People tend to think that over time our grief shrinks.
But, really we increase our capacity and grow bigger around our grief.
What is my approach?
My approach is rooted in learnings from a course I began in 2015 called Understanding Personal Energy. Our bodies are our physical instrument for the energy that runs through us. There are personal energy patterns that exist within each of us, and they shape our thoughts, feelings, relationships, work, health, who we think we are and what we think is possible. When not engaged with intention and knowledge, these energy patterns limit our perception and our choices. When we do use our attention and intention with these energy patterns, we are able to be more ourselves, more authentic. And, we can learn ways to move big energy through our bodies without straining our system.
I have continued studying with my teachers in the years since then. Through the loss of my son and my sister, I stayed connected to this powerful work. It is the foundation for how I live my life, how I have navigated my grief journey, and how I have and will continue to work with others. Using my professional experience as a change management consultant and coach, my lived experience of walking my own grief path, and the tools and resources I’ve learned and developed through my energy class and other grief trainings, I support others on their unique journey of grief and loss and all that comes with it.
What are my professional qualifications?
Masters in Education, Seattle University, 1996
Trained as a Professional Life Coach, InviteChange, 2014
Trained as an End-of-Life Doula, International End of Life Doula Association (INELDA), 2020
Completed half of a Masters in Counseling Psych, including clinical time, Pacifica Graduate Institute, 2023
Certified as a Grief Educator, David Kessler Training, 2024
Certified as a Psilocybin Facilitator, Leela School of Awakening, Oregon, 2024
Note: I am not a licensed therapist.
The name Grief Momma came to me when I was first thinking about doing this work. It signifies to me both the primary loss I carry, and it is a nod to the Motrin Mommas, or just Mommas, a soccer team of wonderful women who first met on the pitch. Decades later, we are still a group of sorts, sharing lots of other activities, and weathering the ups and downs of life together. In the depths of my loss, I was shown the power of kindness and community through these women.